2022 /2023 was my Anus horribilis- as the late Queen of England so aptly used to mean year of horror. Over the course of 13 months, I lost my boss who was a dear friend and mentor of mine in January 2022, my cousin who was my best friend and big sister in September of that same year, and my uncle and stepdad respectively within a week of each other in February 2023. All 4 were taken way too soon, way too young, with so much more life left to live.

It felt like death surrounded me. I was shattered in so many ways. At the same time in my professional life our company was going through the biggest merger in Southern Africa – and I was the HR Director at the time. Showing up for our people and teams were a non-negotiable, but inside I carried immense sadness and a deep sense of loss, knowing that life will never be the same.

My cousin Aurikel was always with me – we were only one year apart and practically joined at the hip as soon as I could walk our mothers told us. I was her shadow, and we did everything together. She was my first sleepover, my first best friend, my first confidant, my first life partner. I always aspired to be like her and followed her to university where we both studied Organizational Psychology. We had the same friends, dated together, and lived together as students. I loved her something fierce. When we transitioned into adult hood as wife’s and mothers we shared summer holidays, traveling back and forth as we continued to make beautiful memories together.

After a few years of health challenges, she lost the battle and was cruelly taken away from us at the youthful age of 43. She left behind 2 beautiful boys and a husband. We were all heartbroken. She always did everything before me, and I remember telling her after her death that she made sure to go to heaven before me as well.

A few months later, on the day that our merger was finalized and we were preparing for  the final town hall with our employees, I  was simultaneously busy finalizing funeral arrangements with my mom to lay to rest her husband and my stepdad – a beautiful human being that made such an impact in our lives and loved my mom and us unconditionally. And a week before his funeral we laid to rest my uncle – the same uncle who drove 1000 kilometers to visit me when I started my first real job, gave me life advice on too many occasions to count, walked me down the aisle when I got married, and brought laughter and kindness into my life when I needed it the most. 

Life is ironic, heartbreaking, and unforgiving at times. But though death surrounded me for 13 months nonstop, I will always believe that life is also beautiful, full of promise and forgiveness.

Death has taught me to:

1. Appreciate the little things in life, the sun on my face, the beauty of a cloudy day, a hug from someone I love, the smile on my children’s faces when I pick them up from school, a long chat with my mom who is on a different continent while we live and work in the Middle East, my husband’s face when he arrives home after a week of work travels. This is true joy and happiness. Have you found what brings
   you true joy and meaning?
2. Have perspective – we so often become trapped in our minds with what seems like huge problems, when truly it’s a puzzle that we can easily solve if we have the right perspective. Perspective gives us context. It allows us to realize what truly matters. We are fragile human beings and when you are aware of your mortality it forces you to re-evaluate what and who you should be spending your time and life with. For me it is my 2 F’s: Faith and Family always. What is yours? 
3. Without your health – you have nothing. How many people that received a terminal health diagnosis will trade places with you and me, right this minute, give always all their wealth for another chance at life? Protect your health and invest in your body and mind! I have started to really prioritize my health and work out 3-5 times a week for the past year. It has made an immense difference to how I feel, how much energy and motivation I have, and most importantly to my mental health. How can you start putting your health first?
4. Gratitude – We forget so quickly that what we have today is what we prayed for a few years ago, our husband or wife, our children, the house we now live in, our jobs, – yet we complain about so many things. Shift your complaints to thanks and feel the difference it makes in how you see life everyday. What are you grateful for today?
5. Grab life by the horns and life live to the full! -This is our motto as the Möller Family. Stop being afraid and go and chase your dreams, start that new hobby or business, forgive easy and quickly, and have as many adventures as you can. Last year I went shark cage diving and paragliding off a mountain top! Was I freaked out – totally! Was it worth it – 100 Percent. Life can be so hard at times; we need to create adventures and moments of joy to remind us how amazing it is to be alive! And it does not have to be big, grand, and crazy, it can be a walk with the kids, camping in your backyard, cooking together. We just need to be present for it. We will also make mistakes, often, that is ok – its how we learn. We will fail, that builds character. Life is meant to be lived with every breath in our body. So ask yourself. Are you sleepwalking and going through the motions? Or are you really living? Do something today that you are afraid of, that is on your bucket list. That you have been putting off for ages. Courage is doing something even if it scares you. Be brave, live with intention, have adventures, Live with purpose. The most beautiful way we can honor those that we have lost is to live life to the fullest.

Until next time,
Your friend.
Natasha C